inclusive Christianity

I get knocked down, but I get up again…

/ JJS / Leave a comment

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 15; 147:1-11, 1 Samuel 25:23-44, Acts 14:19-28, Mark 4:35-41

Resilience, a term long used in medical circles, is becoming a staple of life and leadership coaches. For medical purposes, resilience means the ability to resist and recover from disease. In the area of personal development, it describes the ability to bounce back from stress. Either kind of resilience depends partially on traits we’re born with, but with some knowledge and effort we can positively influence how resilient we are in both senses.

Paul was a paragon of resilience. The man was nearly impossible to keep down. In Lycaonia, Paul and the other disciples won many converts among the gentiles. When Jews who were hostile to Paul came from Antioch and Iconium to Lycaonia and turned the people against him, the crowds “stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing that he was dead.” But when the disciples gathered around him, he got up, regrouped, and went from city to city encouraging the disciples and appointing elders.

It seems Paul’s resilience depended on his faith and his interaction with other people. We can all draw on our reserves of resilience, but we need to learn how. For some of us that means interacting with loved ones, and for others it means time alone. Maybe it’s art. Maybe it’s running. The benefits one person gets from time in prayer and meditation may be the same benefits someone else gets from kickboxing lessons. Because we are all so different, we should be careful not to ridicule or belittle someone else’s means of stress reduction. Nor should we feel pressured to explain or modify our own to suit someone else’s expectations.

Cultivating resilience – even if it takes time away from other people’s priorities – is not selfish; it’s self care. Stress attacks the body in many of the same ways disease does, but we can build immunity. Why deny ourselves mental health exercises any more than we would physical exercise? Our ability to serve God and the Kingdom only improves as our resilience does. If we’re going to love our neighbors as we love ourselves … don’t we first have to love ourselves?

Comfort: You are part of God’s creation; treat yourself like you would the rest.

Challenge: Reflect on the ways you deal with stress and whether they increase your resilience or simply suppress it.

Prayer: Lord, teach me healthy ways to care for myself so I may be at my best to serve you. Amen.

Discussion: What helps you build resilience?

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Human Kindness, Overflowing

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 123; 146, 1 Samuel 25:1-22, Acts 14:1-18, Mark 4:21-34

David and his six hundred men camped in the wilderness outside Carmel, near the property of a wealthy man named Nabal. David sent men to tell Nabal that unlike some of the more dangerous characters roaming the wilderness they had harmed neither his shepherds nor his flock but protected them; therefore, would he spare them whatever food he could? Nabal, cranky and suspicious of runaway servants, declined. David returned with four hundred armed men, ready to kill all the males of the household.

Allowing that a refusal of hospitality was a much stronger insult in David’s culture, and that the text is clearly biased against Nabal … in this situation David is not a nice guy. Essentially he tells his troops, “Hey, boys! This guy who didn’t actually ask for our protection now refuses to compensate us for it so we’re going to slaughter his household.”

Today we call that sort of extortion a “protection racket.”

Ever heard of Nice Guy Syndrome? Simplified (maybe overly so), it’s the idea that some men who see themselves as nice believe this obliges women – especially women they’ve supported through relationships with men who are “not nice” – to consider them romantically. Less a virtue and more an objectifying strategy.

No matter how kind you are, no one (regardless of gender) owes you a date. Or a job. Or a meal. Or even gratitude. We appreciate these things. Being only human, we feel the sting of their absence. But if we feel it too keenly – if it punctures and deflates our impulse to be kind – perhaps what we value is not kindness itself, but the ego stroke of being perceived as kind.

True kindness is an expression of gratitude for God’s limitless love for us. It reflects God’s patience with our own imperfections and ingratitude. If we love only those who love us back, we do not love: we negotiate. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians, love does not insist on its own way – including being returned “appropriately.” A kindness freely given is a gift to both souls, a balm which never runs dry.

Comfort: Your kindnesses, even unacknowledged, matter.

Challenge: Once a week, make a point of being kind to someone you don’t like, or who doesn’t like you.

Prayer: Thank you, God, for the many kindnesses you show me daily. Amen.

Discussion: David is an example of a flawed but basically good person. How do you deal with it when your heroes or loved ones fall short of your expectations?

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Killing Blows

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 135; 145, 1 Samuel 24:1-22, Acts 13:44-52, Mark 4:1-20

David and his men were hiding in a cave when Saul, taking a break from his murderous pursuit to relieve himself, entered the cave and left himself vulnerable to attack. Despite the urging of his men and the weight of prophecy (“I will give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it seems good to you”), David spared Saul’s life and instead cut off a corner of his cloak. Then David used the corner as evidence that he could have killed Saul, but meant him no harm. Saul repented (for a while).

If we want to be peacemakers, we have to resist the temptation of using a killing blow just because the opportunity has presented itself. We may not be pursued by a mad king, but many people who view us as enemies – whether it’s in politics, religion, social circles, or business – do so because they misunderstand us. And we do the same. Some enemies are unavoidable, but many are created in our own minds. In many situations, such misunderstanding is more assumption than fact. When that’s the case, our best chance of de-escalating hostilities may be laying down our arms.

Have you ever had an argument with someone you loved, or maybe a co-worker, and said something you wish you hadn’t? An emotional killing blow that hurt them in ways you couldn’t fix? We do that because in the heat of the moment it promises to help us win … though the resulting prize is a damaged – sometimes broken – relationship. We do that because in our anger or fear we assume they seek to emotionally destroy us, and we want to get there first. It is a feedback loop of regret.

Like Saul, we can ruin our reputation, relationships, and legacy overreacting to mostly imaginary enemies. Better to be like David who, in the face of actual danger, sought understanding more than victory, and offered humility rather than defensiveness. Even when we are in the right, we should ask ourselves whether our goal is to annihilate our enemies or to make peace with them.

Additional Reading:
Read more about today’s passage from Acts in Shaking the Dust.
For additional thoughts on Mark, see Fertile Ground and Seeds of Faith.

Comfort: Misunderstandings can be cleared up.

Challenge: Sometimes you have to be the first to offer an olive branch, even if you’re not in the wrong.

Prayer: Help me, O Lord, to recognize my enemies, and to love them. Amen.

Discussion: Are you someone who has to have the last word?

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Actions and Reactions

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 19; 150, 1 Samuel 23:7-18, Romans 11:33-12:2, Matthew 25:14-30

David had many gifts: bravery, loyalty, cunning, musicality, and most importantly a heart for the Lord. A gift he seemed to lack – or at least to employ consistently – was foresight.

After he and his men fled Nob, they found their way to the gated city of Keilah in Judah. Still pursued by Saul, David asked the Lord whether the citizens of Keilah would turn him over. God’s answer was yes … but that shouldn’t have been a surprise. After all, Saul had slaughtered the citizens of the last city where he sought refuge, so Keilah didn’t have much incentive to protect him. David’s remorse for the fate of Nob didn’t seem to make a lasting impression, as he didn’t bother to ask about the safety of Keilah should he stay.

Nob and Keilah foreshadow David’s rule as king of Israel, during which time he would make some impulsive decisions with terrible yet utterly foreseeable consequences. What can we learn from all this?

First it’s yet another example – along with Moses, Samson, Rahab, Paul, etc. – of God working through imperfect people as they actually are. This should comfort us when we screw up, and remind us God still loves people though they do terrible things.

Second it shows us that being loved and forgiven doesn’t mean God is some supernatural fixer who relieves us from the consequences of our own decisions. The consequences themselves are often God’s opportunity to help us learn and grow. It’s like the bumper sticker says: “Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and make bad decisions.”

Third it suggests we have some responsibility for even unintended consequences of our actions. When conning a priest out of some bread and a sword culminated in the murder of eighty-five priests, David told the one surviving priest of Nob, “I am responsible for the lives of all your father’s house” though it was Saul’s man who’d done the killing. It is results more than intentions which obligate us.

David’s story is like everyone’s story: a lesson of God’s constant love for an inconstant humanity.

Additional Reading:
Read more about today’s passage from Matthew in Moving in the direction of justice.

Comfort: God’s love does not depend on your perfection.

Challenge: Once a day for a week, pick one choice you make and try to map out the repercussions it has. For example, the pros and cons – for you and other people before and after you – of your meal choices.

Prayer: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Discussion: How do you handle decisions you later regret?

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A House United

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 104; 149, 1 Samuel 22:1-23, Acts 13:26-43, Mark 3:19b-35

Jewish religious leaders were beside themselves trying to explain the popularity and power of Jesus. When they said his ability to cast out demons came from Satan, he replied: “How can Satan cast out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.”

At this time his mother and brothers were growing concerned for him, so they called to Jesus from outside the house where a great crowd had gathered.

And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

We can hear this a couple ways. The first is a dismissal, if not quite a rejection, of his family in favor of his followers. The second, more in keeping with his comments about a house divided, is an expansion of the definition of family; an expansion which includes all who dedicate themselves to God.

Ironically, Saul invited Jesus’s ancestor David into his house, and the resulting division threatened all of Israel. Because the people loved David more, Saul no longer saw him as a member of his faith family, but a dangerous rival. When his son Jonathan conspired to save David’s life, Saul’s rage was uncontrollable. He slaughtered eighty-five priests and their city of Nob because he believed they had helped David escape him. (In reality, they believed David was still serving Saul.) David, who believed Saul was God’s anointed king, had no plans to harm him.

Like so many divided houses, this was a one-sided war.

When we experience conflict with other believers, let’s not make Saul’s mistake and assume they are out to destroy us … and thereby become what we fear. Through Christ we are always challenged to expand our definition of family, even when that expansion feels threatening.

Jesus said “My father’s house has many rooms.” We don’t all have to sleep in the same one.

Additional Reading:
Read more about today’s passage from Mark in Just. Plain. Crazy.

Comfort: You have more family than you know.

Challenge: Find someone who is a member of your church, family, neighborhood, or city who thinks differently than you do. Have a conversation about what common good you agree on.

Prayer: I give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness. (Psalm 138:2)

Discussion: Are you a member of a divided “house?” What do you think can unite it?

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Stories of Survival

/ JJS / Leave a comment

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 51; 148, 1 Samuel 21:1-15, Acts 13:13-25, Mark 3:7-19a

If you joined David in the middle of his story, you might not realize he was the hero. He lies to a priest about being on a special mission from the king to get him to hand over the holy bread normally reserved for temple rituals. Yes he was hungry, but was sacrilege his only option? Then he tricks the priest into giving him the very sword he took when he slew Goliath. When he feels he is in danger of being exposed, he pretends to be mad by committing vandalism and drooling all over himself. Over the next few chapters he’ll employ deception several times, until eventually to save his own skin he commits himself to the service of the enemies of Israel.

Because we know his story from the beginning, we are sympathetic to his reasons for lying, stealing, and deceiving in order to survive.

Are our attitudes as generous towards people we actually know?

The vast majority of people we meet are in the middle of their stories. It’s not always a flattering chapter. Like David, they may be doing what they believe they need to do to get by. When the little lies work for David, he starts to tell bigger ones. People return to the survival mechanisms that get results, and if they have had difficult lives, what they’ve learned may seem wrong or unthinkable. Our choices make sense to us because we know our own stories and motivations, but to someone else they may seem terrible.

If we haven’t had therapy we probably aren’t aware of our own survival mechanisms, yet we all have them. Even when we are aware, overcoming the unhealthy, ill-advised, or sinful ones can be difficult to impossible. While human beings rank these behaviors in a hierarchy of evil, whatever separates us from God is sin.

Our choices make sense to us because we know our own stories and motivations. When other people’s choices don’t make sense, we don’t have to accept them but we have better options than condemning. We can love until better choices seem like valid options.

Additional Reading:
Read more about today’s passage from Mark in Rocks, Thunder, and Dough.

Comfort: The story of your life isn’t defined by its worst chapter.

Challenge: When people disappoint or hurt you, try to understand what might disappoint or hurt them.

Prayer: Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. (Psalm 51:1)

Discussion: When have you been surprised to learn “the rest of the story?”

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Find Your Place

/ JJS / 2 Comments

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 97; 147:12-20, 1 Samuel 20:24-42, Acts 13:1-12, Mark 2:23-3:6

Has anyone ever done you the favor of not giving you a promotion?

Our culture teaches us to want that next step on the ladder, the better title, the bigger income. We throw around “motivational” phrases like “if you’re not moving forward you’re moving backward.” If we are content with our current position and don’t seek advancement, we’re often perceived as unmotivated, despite being strong performers. Contrary to the constant message to move up, forward, and beyond, we need to differentiate between where we belong and where we’re pressured to go. If we rely on others to do that, we may be letting them set us up for failure.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing new opportunities, but let’s understand why we seek them. What makes us good (and happy) at our job is not always what makes us a good candidate for the next level. Not every top salesperson makes a competent director. Not every skilled physician should be chief of staff. Not every great chef has the business savvy to run a restaurant. Fortunately, we need many more people to provide services and manufacture goods than we do managers and CEOs. Whatever your job is, doing it well to support yourself, your family, and your community is as successful as it gets.

King Saul was furious with his son Jonathan for siding with David – whom Saul saw as a rival – and effectively forfeiting his opportunity to succeed his father as king. Both Jonathan and Saul knew David would be far better for the nation of Israel than either of them, but only Jonathan did not fear someone else’s success created his failure. For years all of Israel suffered, and ultimately Jonathan died, for Saul’s lack of perspective.

If someone tells you to know your place, it’s demeaning. When you determine where your place is, and claim it in service to the Lord, it empowers you to meet God’s calling in your life. To Christ, the person who harvests the crops is equal to the person who owns the farm. Why betray that love by thinking less of ourselves?

Additional Reading:
Read more about today’s passage from Mark in Ideology or Idolatry and A Responsible Sabbath.

Comfort: Success is found where you are, regardless of where you are going.

Challenge: Every morning for a week, write down what you can do to be successful that day. At the end of the day, review your list.

Prayer: You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.. (Psalm 16:2)

Discussion: Have you ever found yourself in a job where you were over your head?

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Healthy Skepticism

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 89:1-18; 147:1-11, 1 Samuel 20:1-23, Acts 12:18-25, Mark 2:13-22

“But he seemed like such a nice guy!”

“I never thought she would do something like that…”

How often have we heard similar sentiments after someone has been caught doing something wrong? We even hear them expressed by family members who we believe certainly must have known better. In Nuts, when the main character reveals that her stepfather abused her, her mother insists, “I didn’t know.” She replies, “You didn’t want to know, Mama.” When we love someone, or are otherwise invested in them, we often “don’t want to know.”

When David told Jonathan his father Saul was plotting to kill him, Jonathan’s response was basically, “No way! He woulda told me!” As if the spear marks in the wall from the two or three times Saul had previously tried to kill him were just nicks in the plaster, and Saul’s fits of anger and despair were a minor tic. Because David persuades him their close relationship might prevent Saul from being completely forthcoming, Jonathan concocts an elaborate scheme to let David know whether his suspicions pan out.

We need to be healthy skeptics, even of people we love.

Is that a discomforting thought? If so, let’s keep in mind the difference between being skeptical and being accusatory. We don’t have to assume guilt to be curious.

Predators and con artists survive on charm and our aversion to unpleasant truths. This preference for pleasant denial is so powerful that in families, social circles, or organizations where a person asks questions or speaks the truth, that person is often branded the problem. Are we really more willing to risk neglecting victims of abuse and criminal behavior than to risk offending someone by frankly verifying their intentions? If it seems like a tough call, ask yourself which you’d rather explain to Christ.

We don’t have to believe every accusation by default, for that is also foolishness, but as Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, “test everything, hold fast to what is good.” As Christians, we should be a safe place for people to share hard truths, even if we would rather not know them.

Additional Reading:
Read more about today’s passage from Mark in Gimme Some Skin.

Comfort: In the long run, an uncomfortable truth is better than a comfortable lie.

Challenge: Practice withholding judgment based on hearsay or opinion.

Prayer: Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,  even as we hope in you. (Psalm 33:22)

Discussion: How do you think we balance love and skepticism?

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The Competition

/ JJS / 2 Comments

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 42; 146, 1 Samuel 19:1-18 (19-24), Acts 12:1-17, Mark 2:1-12

We are a competitive species. In business, politics, love, art, sports, entertainment – you name it! – we  love to rank and rate ourselves. Whether we want to have the number one sales in our region, achieve first chair in the cello section, or win the Super Bowl, our competition helps us thrive by showing us what is possible and inspiring us to do better.

Of course competition has its uglier side. When winning becomes more important than succeeding, we can be lured into underhanded tactics and unhealthy obsessions. If our self worth depends on being the best, it will be impossible to maintain. We can’t experience our present joy if on the way up all we see is someone in front of us, or if we once we get to the top we obsess over the person gaining on us.

Saul had what we might call an extremely unhealthy sense of competition. David’s great successes in winning both military victories and the hearts of the king’s family settled in the darker corners of Saul’s heart. The king began to see David less as an ally and more as a threat. His plots against David launched a vicious cycle as each backfired and the boy grew even more beloved. David’s achievements all brought glory and love to the house of Saul, but Saul only saw an opponent.

They say to be nice to people we meet on the way up, because we’ll meet them again on the way down. As Saul spiraled out of control and pursued David to kill him, he ran into a group of prophets and involuntarily began to prophesy with them. This recollects an almost identical incident when he was first called to be king. The earlier encounter raised his stature, and the later thwarted his purpose.

Competition is only half a coin. The other side is cooperation. Whatever we do, we do it not for our own glory but for God’s. Ultimately we are all on the same team, running the same race. If we win, it’s time to go back and help others cross the line.

Additional Reading:
Read more about Psalm 42 in God Will Wait and Deep Calls to Deep.
For additional readings from today’s passage from Mark, see Raise the Roof and Forgiveness First.
For more thoughts on today’s passage from Acts, see Timing is Everything.

Comfort: God wants you to be the best you, not the best everything.

Challenge: Make a list of things you wish you were better at. Meditate on whether being better at them also helps you serve God better.

Prayer: I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God all my life long (Psalm 146:2)

Discussion: Do you think of yourself as competitive? Why or why not?

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Extras: Read all about them!

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 5; 145, 1 Samuel 18:5-16 (17-27a) 27b-30, Acts 11:19-30, Mark 1:29-45

Shortly after Jesus recruited his first four disciples, they all stopped at the house of Simon (whom Jesus would later rename Peter). Simon’s mother-in-law was sick in bed, so Jesus healed her. When her fever passed, the Gospel of Mark tells us, she began serving them.

Who doesn’t appear in this story? Simon’s wife, that’s who. The presence of a mother-in-law tells us she existed, but Mark makes no mention of her. Nor do any of the other gospels. Was she busy caring for her mother? Was she the tiniest bit annoyed her mother was expected to jump from her sickbed right into hostess duties? In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul mentions how she attended him in his ministry, yet he does not mention her name.

What must it have been like for her when her husband came home and said he’d quit his job to follow a revolutionary? That bombshell must have been unsettling at best. Given the station of women in the first century, her fate was sealed when her husband made this decision for their family.

No one’s journey unfolds in a vacuum. For good or ill, our decisions have repercussions for our loved ones. Our sacrifices become their sacrifices . While each of us is the star of his or her own life, there is no such thing as a supporting player: everyone is equally loved by God.

Simon’s wife had a name. And hopes for her future. And as full and rich an interior life as anyone. As we grow in our faith story, some characters will stand out, but most won’t. It’s how we treat the “background” characters that reveals our character. Do we think of them as mere functionaries, filling a role but without inherent value? Or are we looking for Christ among them, open to hearing their tales? There’s a rule of thumb that says how someone in a restaurant treats the servers is a better indicator of character than how they treat their friends. If in God’s kingdom the last are first, perhaps the extras have the real leading roles.

Additional Reading:
For additional readings from today’s passage from Mark, see Choose Your Own Adventure and Celebrity Gossip.
For more thoughts on today’s passage from Acts, see Lemonade.

Comfort: No life is too small to matter to God.

Challenge: Make a point of being respectful people whose business involves serving you, such as wait staff, tradespeople, etc. We are called to serve them also.

Prayer: Let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, so that those who love your name may exult in you. (Psalm 5:11)

Discussion: Have you ever felt dismissed? How did you handle it?

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