blame

Blame Game

/ JJS / 1 Comment

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 89:1-18; 147:1-11, Genesis 4:1-16, Hebrews 2:11-18, John (1:29-34) 35-42

The story of Cain and Abel is the original tale of sibling rivalry. Cain, the first child of Adam and Eve, was a “tiller of the ground” and made God an offering of his harvest. His brother Abel was a shepherd, and offered God the finest of his flock. God favored Abel’s offering but not Cain’s, and in jealous anger Cain slew Abel with a rock. Instead of killing Cain, God instead banished him east of Eden and placed a mark of protection on him so no one else would kill him either.

Stories of rivalry are seldom so extreme, but Cain made a common mistake: when things didn’t go his way, he assumed the role of victim.

When God noticed Cain was angry because his offering was not respected, he asked Cain: “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted?” Cain never stopped to ask himself (or God) what he might have done differently. Instead he directed his anger toward Abel. God had advised him: “And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” As God predicted, blaming Abel for his failure led to an even bleaker fate.

Our reaction to failure determines the course of our future. Not being honest with ourselves about our own contributions to a failed effort can have disastrous results for ourselves and those around us. Even when we feel someone has taken advantage of us, we can ask whether and how we made it possible. This doesn’t excuse the other person, but restores our sense of control over the situation and prepares us for similar situations in the future.

We’ll never know why God  rejected Cain’s offer, because he didn’t ask. When we bungle a project at work or handle a family situation poorly, it’s tempting, easy, and human to blame the circumstances, a co-worker, or a spouse. Once that’s out of your system, you need to look inward. In any situation, you are the only person you can control.

Comfort: When you make mistakes, God is not waiting to condemn but to help.

Challenge: Reconsider a situation – from a time when you were an adult – where you blame someone else for failure or problems. Ask yourself what you might have done differently, and what could you do differently in the future.

Prayer: God, teach me to see myself as I am, not as I pretend to be. Amen.

Discussion: How often do you play the victim?

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People are People

/ JJS / Leave a comment

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 97; 145, Daniel 4:19-27, 1 John 3:19-4:6, Luke 4:14-30

Sometimes all it takes to be a prophet is an understanding of human nature and a keen sense of irony. When Jesus began preaching in his home town of Nazareth, he knew the people in the synagogue would want the same signs he performed earlier in Capernaum. Mark’s gospel tells us the people had so little faith Jesus was able to do very little. In today’s reading from Luke, Jesus tells them “no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown.” Five verses later, they are shoving him toward a cliff.

They could have tried to be more accepting, if only to prove him wrong, right? But that’s not human nature. How many teenagers, when asked if they’ve been drinking, counter with, “If you’re going to keep accusing me I might as well!” How many spouses caught in infidelity blame the insecurities of their husband or wife? We don’t enjoy someone telling us we’re wrong, especially when we know they’re right, so we lash out at the messenger. We drink and blame our parents. Cheat and blame our spouses. Lack faith and blame our savior.

Jesus saw it coming, and so should we. Across time and geography certain truths about human nature persist. We tend to think we are more self-aware than other people, but in reality – not so much. When we’re not busy convincing ourselves we are better than we are, we may be looking at other cultures and communities as “noble savages” who are somehow exempt from the less desirable traits of humanity. Or worse, we may look at whole groups of people as more capable of corruption than we could ever be. As clichéd as it might sound, people are people.

The good news is we can be better. First, we must abandon the mindset that we are exempt from basic human nature. Second, we must honestly examine ourselves as an outsider (Jesus, maybe?) might see us. Finally, we must consciously decide to act in ways consistent with our faith, even if that action goes against our nature. Let’s step back from the cliff before it’s too late.

Comfort: God knows our nature – and our potential.

Challenge: Pray about the things that you do despite knowing better.

Prayer: God of strength, I seek your nature before my own. Amen.

Discussion: What about human nature still manages to surprise you?

Join the discussion! If you enjoyed this post, feel free to join an extended discussion as part of the C+C Facebook group  or visit comfortandchallenge.tumblr.com. You’ll  have the opportunity to share your thoughts with some lovely people. Or feel free to comment here on WordPress, or even re-blog – the more the merrier!