Point of No Return

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 92; 149, Jeremiah 31:23-25, Colossians 3:12-17, Luke 7:18-28 (29-30) 31-35


[Note: this post is about relationships and forgiveness, but it is not intended to address physically or emotionally abusive relationships. If you are or suspect you are in an abusive relationship, please seek support, safety, and counseling.]

When a relationship sours, it isn’t uncommon for one or both parties to be able to do no right in the eyes of the other. Good behavior – say, a spouse who starts showing more kindness – can be met with suspicion, or dismissed as “too little, too late.” Eventually a relationship can pass the point of no return where people are more invested in being right than in reconciling. Such relationship implosions aren’t limited to individuals. History is full of national, political, and religious feuds that long outlast the actual sins and become matters of stubborn pride; we continue to disagree or take offense not over what is done, but who does it. Once we sufficiently vilify the other side, we feel justified in no longer asking what role we played in the decline of the relationship.

Had the Pharisees reached the point of no return in their relationship with God? John and Jesus were hardly the first to tell them God desired mercy over sacrifice. It seemed that no matter who God sent to warn them, they could find a reason to dismiss the warning. Jesus told them:

John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

Fortunately, Jesus specializes in retrieving those who have seemingly passed the point of no return. Blindness? Sight restored. Lifelong illness? Cured. Death? Overcome.

Broken relationship? Forgiveness.

Oh … that’s a little tougher. That requires us to do something more than show up and let Jesus do his thing. Perhaps that’s because we didn’t cause our physical ailments, but we did contribute to the failure of the relationship. Maybe not equally, maybe not much, but forgiveness isn’t about the size of the offense; it’s about the peace in our heart. When we heed Christ’s words, we realize the point of no return is the limit of our willingness to forgive. He’ll bring us back, as long as we’re willing.

Comfort: Through Christ, you are capable of forgiving more than you realize.

Challenge: Reflect on a relationship you blame someone else for breaking. Consider the ways you contributed, and whether you need to forgive them or yourself.

Prayer:  Forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Amen.

Discussion: Do you think of yourself as good or bad at relationships?

Join the discussion! If you enjoyed this post, feel free to join an extended discussion as part of the C+C Facebook group  or visit comfortandchallenge.tumblr.com. You’ll  have the opportunity to share your thoughts with some lovely people. Or feel free to comment here on WordPress, or even re-blog – the more the merrier!

Good Losers

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 12; 146, Jonah 3:1-4:11, Revelation 11:14-19, Luke 11:27-36


Do you have to get your way to be happy? If so, brace yourself for a lot of disappointments.

God sent Jonah to Nineveh to warn the people there to repent or be destroyed. Jonah hated the Ninevites, so not only did he not want to be there in the first place, he really didn’t want them to be saved. Yet repent they did, and rather than be happy an entire city had turned to the Lord, Jonah went to the outskirts of town and pouted. The Lord caused a bush to grow to give him shade, and for a brief time Jonah was happy. Then the Lord “appointed a worm” to destroy the bush, and Jonah resumed his griping.

The Lord asked Jonah how he could be so upset about a day-old bush he hadn’t even grown himself, yet expect the Lord not to be concerned about a hundred and twenty thousand people who had lost their way.

We are going to be put in a lot of situations where we don’t get what we want. The new music director may go contemporary when we prefer classic. The presidential candidate we voted for could lose. The in-laws might insist on cooking the dressing inside the turkey when it is clearly safer not to. How do we react to these and the countless serious and trivial disappointments we will face?

When we are presented with a choice of resentment and sabotage, or working toward reconciliation, let’s remember that Jonah did not turn out to be the hero of his story. He hated the Ninevites because they had enslaved his people. Jonah’s bitterness prevented him from seeing that calling them to repentance was a victory which neither compromised him nor excused them, but vindicated the loving nature of the God of Israel.

How we behave in defeat says more about our character than winning ever will. We don’t have to betray our values to work for the greater good of a family, congregation, or nation. Dodging responsibility and sulking on the periphery serves no one well, least of all our God.

Comfort: Your happiness does not depend on getting your way.

Challenge: Do something nice for someone you don’t particularly like.

Prayer: God of reconciliation, may I be gracious and defeat and generous in victory. Amen.

Discussion: Do you prefer games that are competitive or cooperative?

Join the discussion! If you enjoyed this post, feel free to join an extended discussion as part of the C+C Facebook group or follow @comf_and_chall on Twitter. You’ll  have the opportunity to share your thoughts with some lovely people. Or feel free to comment here on WordPress, or even re-blog – the more the merrier!