shame

Worthy

/ JJS / 5 Comments

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Today’s readings:
Psalms 57; 145, Isaiah 48:1-11, Galatians 1:1-17, Mark 5:21-43

“Worthiness” is a concept that gets thrown around lot in certain Christian circles. When we thank God for loving us despite our sinful nature, we call ourselves “unworthy” of that love. That may be true in the sense that God’s love is not something we can earn. It may even be necessary to keep our egos in check.

But the world already does too good a job of convincing far too many people they are without worth, so the wrong type of focus on our “unworthy” nature can cause yet more damage. In some cases, it can be exploited in very un-Christ-like ways. Christ taught people who thought they were forever outside of God’s love that God loved them too. Shouldn’t that be our focus also?

Every one of us feels insecure about something. Our physical appearance. Our weight. Our ability. Our love-ability. Our faith. Secrets we keep. Secrets we can’t keep. Things we’ve done. Things we’ve left undone. Sadly, human beings have an infinite capacity for reasons to feel insecure. Left to fester, such feelings can quickly grow into feelings of unworthiness. We all know people who feel unworthy to be loved by themselves, by others, or even by God. Deep-seated feelings of unworthiness, left unaddressed, can result in destructive and self-destructive behavior.

In today’s gospel story, a woman who suffered with a hemorrhage for twelve years touched Jesus’s robe and was healed by her faith. Under Levitical law, this woman was unclean, and therefore unworthy of touching a rabbi like Jesus. Societal norms might have kept her from being healed, but Jesus had no words of rebuke for her – only words of praise for her faith. Jesus demonstrated unworthiness is a concept we use to hold each other back but it places no limitations on God’s love for us. We must never let anyone tell us differently.

Feelings of unworthiness may also spring from actions we have taken and lives we have led. In his letter to the Galatians, Paul reminds them that before he evangelized for Christ, he was a destroyer of Christians – surely a matter of no small regret. He also points out that once God chose him, he “did not confer with any human being” but set directly about his calling. We learn at least two things from his experience. First, we are worthy because God tells us so, not because we or someone else decides it. Second, we don’t have to wait for approval from others to behave as though we are worthy: if that were the case, Paul would never have gotten started!

If God felt a notorious persecutor of Christians was worthy of being their greatest evangelist, how much ego does it take to believe our own offenses make us unworthy of God’s love? When we don’t have faith in our own worthiness, let’s remember our God has faith in us!

Comfort: You are no more or less worthy of God’s love than anyone else.

Challenge: Meditate on how we must not equate our human worthiness with the worthiness of Christ.

Prayer: Creator of all, thank you for creating me to love and to be loved. Amen.

Discussion: “Worthy” can be a loaded term if we use it with pride instead of humility. Often we emphasize our unworthiness before God to reinforce that humility. What do you think are healthy and unhealthy ways to think about our worth?

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Naked and Unashamed

/ JJS / 2 Comments

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 42; 146, Genesis 3:1-24, Hebrews 2:1-10, John 1:19-28

“Who told you that you were naked?”

That’s the question God asks Adam and Eve when He finds they have covered themselves in fig leaves because they are ashamed. No one had to tell them; they knew as soon as they ate the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. What exactly about their nakedness was shameful? Minutes earlier it hadn’t bothered them – or God – at all. Perhaps it wasn’t the physical nakedness that shamed them, but the spiritual nakedness. That’s a lot harder to cover up.

Was there really anything special about the fruit? If God had commanded them not to sit in the Lawn Chair of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, the serpent would have reminded them how tired their legs were. It was inevitable.

Our reason for desiring “forbidden fruit” always seems solid … right up until we begin to pay the consequences. Like every human being, Adam and Eve already had the capacity for good and evil, but because they had not been disobedient, they did not have the knowledge of it. Immediately upon disobeying God they became aware of how deeply flawed they actually were. Like any one of us, they didn’t want those flaws exposed to the world or to God. Fumbling to conceal themselves only made mistakes more apparent. Whether or not we believe in a literal Eden, the story teaches us that as soon as we are aware of our disobedience, we feel separated from God.  The knowledge is not contained in the fruit, but in the bite.

It took a Christ who was willing to die on our behalf to reveal to us that God loves and forgives us despite our flaws. Our vain and impossible attempts at perfecting ourselves – our fig leaves – only further separate us from God, because we inevitably fall short and condemn ourselves. We’d be better off never having covered up at all. Christ invites us to drop the fig leaves and return to God on God’s terms – spiritually naked and humbly dependent. Christ uncovers our shame, and covers us in love.

Comfort: God loves you just as you are.

Challenge: In what ways are you still trying to prove yourself to God? How can you let go of these “fig leaves?”

Prayer: Loving Creator, I present myself humbly before you. I trust that you love me despite my sins and failures. I thank you for Christ who strengthens and redeems me. Amen.

Discussion: What tempts you? How do you feel after you give in?

Join the discussion! If you enjoyed this post, feel free to join an extended discussion as part of the C+C Facebook group. You’ll be notified of new posts through FB, and have the opportunity to share your thoughts with some lovely people. Or feel free to comment here on WordPress, or even re-blog – the more the merrier!

Tamar, today.

/ JJS / Leave a comment

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 103; 150, 2 Samuel 13:1-22, Romans 15:1-13, John 3:22-36

The story of David’s sister Tamar is a tragic one. Her half-brother Amnon,  who perversely lusted for her, pretended to be ill and tricked her into his bedchamber, supposedly to care for him. When Tamar realized his intentions, she begged him not to force himself upon her, calling it a vile act and asking, “where could I carry my shame?”

Her shame? Tamar was victimized twice.

Amnon’s guilt immediately caused him to loathe and discard her. Her brother Absalom meant well and took her in but even his words robbed her of dignity: “Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother; do not take this to heart.” While she remained a “desolate woman” in Absalom’s home, Amnon remained unpunished because David loved him.

The real shame is not hearing Tamar’s point of view. It’s her story, but she’s little more than a prop.

If only this tale was an example of barbarism relegated to the past; victim-blaming is all-too-real and all-too-current. Defense attorneys try to discredit sexual assault victims by shaming them for common behaviors and dress. Cherished institutions offer (and beleaguered families accept) settlements which teach abused children the fair market value of their souls. In families, the abused are taught the family’s “good” name is more important than their truth. When groups who have been oppressed for centuries gain a legal toehold and dare to point out the ongoing need for justice work, they are dismissed for playing the “victim card.”

The lack of consequences for Amnon’s sin had devastating, long-lasting repercussions within the family. When the powerful – or their enablers – silence those they abuse in the name of “keeping the peace” all they’re really keeping is power. Others pay the price. For a while.

When we ask ourselves “What would Jesus do?” the right answer is never “sweep it under the rug.” People like Tamar should be able to carry their shame right into the midst of Christ’s disciples and exchange it for love and solace. The greater good is not built from the top down, but ground up … one mended soul at a time.

Additional Reading:
For thoughts on today’s reading from Romans, see Building the Neighborhood.
For thoughts on today’s passage from John, see Decrease to Increase.

Comfort: Everyone’s story matters to God. 

Challenge: When you encounter examples of victim-blaming, speak up.

Prayer: Read all of Psalm 139.

Discussion: When have you been unjustly silenced?

Join the discussion! If you enjoyed this post, feel free to join an extended discussion as part of the C+C Facebook group. You’ll be notified of new posts through FB, and have the opportunity to share your thoughts with some lovely people. Or feel free to comment here on WordPress, or even re-blog – the more the merrier!