authenticity

Your Best Self

/ JJS / Leave a comment

veleveteenrabbit

Today’s readings:
Psalms 84; 150, Jeremiah 23:16-32, 1 Corinthians 9:19-27, Mark 8:31-9:1

There’s a type of message that seems to pop up frequently in social media. It generally says: “Take me as I am or watch me as I go.” Intended as a phrase of self-empowerment, it may be exactly that for people who’ve suffered rejection for something beyond their control. However, when it’s used to deflect criticism, dismiss self-reflection, or justify one’s own needlessly abrasive behavior … it’s the message of a child. Mature people remain open to change and growth. They also realize other people’s feelings do actually matter.

But it’s a balancing act. Considering other people’s feelings doesn’t mean betraying our own values. Cursing like a sailor at a church bake sale (or proselytizing at an explicitly secular event) is merely offensive, not principled; on the other hand defending free speech may require us to offend some people. Being authentic doesn’t mean expressing every thought that comes into our heads regardless of circumstance. We all learn to moderate ourselves around our bosses so we don’t lose our jobs; we should have the same respect for people who don’t hold power over us.

The Apostle Paul was too devoted to his mission to simply make controversial proclamations and end with: “Take me or leave me.” Rather, he developed relationships by empathizing with – and perhaps more importantly building relationships with – those he wanted to reach. As he wrote to the church in Corinth, to the Jews he became as a Jew, to the weak he became weak, to those under the law he became as one under the law. He never sacrificed his core message, but customized his delivery for the sake of the Gospel. Paul knew relationships supersede religion. We don’t persuade by judging; we persuade by engaging.

Our lives are more fulfilling when we find ways to point our core values and true selves toward service. If we have a big mouth, we can speak for the voiceless. If we are flamboyant, we can draw focus where it will do good. If we have a dark sense of humor, we can bridge the gap between suffering and ignorance. Don’t ever be ashamed of your story and truth, but remember you share space with other equally deserving stories and truths.

Comfort: It’s good to be yourself.

Challenge: It’s not so good to use “being yourself” as an excuse to be hurtful to others.

Prayer: Lord, I know you have created me for service. Help me to let let my gifts shine in ways that honor you and the creation you love. Amen.

Discussion: Do you ever struggle to balance being authentic with being loving?

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Carpenter’s Son

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 93; 150, Leviticus 8:1-13, 30-36, Hebrews 12:1-14, Luke 4:16-30

How do you feel about high school reunions? Your answer probably depends on how much you enjoyed your high school experience. The older we get the less we are like our high school selves, but stepping into those locker-lined hallways and through those gymnasium doors shifts a part of our brain back into those teenage dynamics. Some part of us expects people to be like they were then, and they expect the same of us. When we know someone as a youth, we can have trouble seeing how they are different as adults. All of us are both victims and perpetrators of this phenomenon.

Jesus had the same problems. His ministry began with a big splash in Capernaum, and then he returned to his hometown of Nazareth. In Nazareth people wanted to see the signs he’d performed in Capernaum. Part of this might have been excitement over the hometown boy made good, but some of it was because they couldn’t imagine the son of Joseph the carpenter as the Messiah. Anticipating their doubt, Jesus told them: “no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown.” After he got warmed up and started doing what prophets do – namely telling them what they needed to change – “all in the synagogue were filled with rage.” They drove him out of town and tried to push him off a cliff.

In the end, Jesus “passed through the midst of them and went on his way” as though they weren’t there. Now there’s a lesson in maturity. Jesus did not surrender to the outdated expectations of people who couldn’t see him in the present. It can be tempting to lower ourselves to expectations (“I cheated because I got tired of you accusing me of it!”) and blame others. Jesus knew what he was about, and also knew Nazareth would hold him back. At one point even his own family called him crazy, but he just kept doing what needed to be done. What only he could do. Don’t settle for the expectations the world places on you; graduate into the person God has prepared you to be.

Comfort: Other people may not see you for who you are, but God does.

Challenge: If you are tempted to blame someone else for your failings, spend some time in prayer about it.

Prayer: Thank you, loving God, for allowing me to grow into the gifts you have given me. Help me to see others as you see them, not through the lens of my preconceptions. Amen.

Discussion: Do you react maturely in the face of low expectations?

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The Nitty Gritty

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 99; 147:1-11, Exodus 33:1-23, 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12, Matthew 5:17-20

In many ways, our culture teaches us to win at all costs. From underhanded but effective political tactics to reality television featuring treacherous alliances and double-crosses, we can easily find ourselves celebrating victory more than integrity. For Paul it was not so: he trusted the integrity of his message was itself enough to bring people to Christ. Yet even the church can succumb to a little bait and switch, exaggerating joys and minimizing challenges to get people in the doors.

When we try to make ourselves seem better than we are, ironically we undermine the Good News. “Sunday Best” doesn’t refer only to our attire – we bring our best attitudes, best behavior, and best versions of our lives. We often assume that everyone else’s “best” presentation of their lives is the whole truth when in reality they may be struggling as badly or worse than we are. Together we perpetuate the myth that Christians must be eternally cheerful and optimistic. The danger in all this window dressing is the subtle message that Jesus Club is meant for those who have it together, or who can get it together. Not only do we miss opportunities to support one another, we intimidate others from trying to join the body. Eventually the false front crumbles under the weight of our collective repression, and the world sees us as hypocrites.

What a relief it would be to share the gospel as Paul did! He admitted to being exhausted, mistreated, and quarrelsome. He bore his sufferings and flaws as a testament to Christ’s presence in his life. His message spoke to broken people who needed to know Christ … because he admitted he was broken and needed Christ. And not simply past-tense broken, but presently broken and constantly being saved. That friend undergoing an ugly divorce just might be more interested in hearing about how Jesus is with you as you battle depression than about the Jesus who blessed the congregation with the best bake sale turnout ever. When we stop showing people the Jesus we think they want to see, and show them the real Jesus in the trenches with us, the message is more than enough.

Comfort: God already knows your true self, so there’s no sense in hiding it from anyone else.

Challenge: Share your authentic self with your church family or faith community. In what ways does it help you, and in what ways does it help them?

Prayer: God of truth, I present my authentic self to you, knowing you are the answer to all my brokenness, and ask you to use it for your glory. Amen.

Discussion: In what ways does being honest about your life help you, and in what ways does it help others?

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Fragrant

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab / window):
Psalms 5; 147:1-11, Exodus 7:8-24, 2 Corinthians 2:14-3:6, Mark 10:1-16

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Saint Paul wrote:

“[W]e are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.”

Fragrances are complex. What smells pleasant on one person’s skin may be noxious on someone else. Just as body chemistry interacts with the composition of cologne or perfume, spiritual “chemistry” impacts the impression we make on those we meet. There is no single way to live as a Christian. If we slap on a particular style of speech or manners just because it is popular or endorsed by a celebrity, and it doesn’t authentically line up with who we are, the effect can be disastrous. At best we may seem like a cheap knock-off, at worst we will radiate a stench of deception. Authenticity is more important than brand recognition.

The powerhouses of attraction are not the fragrances we spray on, but those scents other people may not consciously detect. Pheromones are chemical signals secreted by animals and humans to trigger physiological responses in others. We don’t consciously control them, yet they can powerfully influence attraction or repulsion.

What signals of spirit and character do we unknowingly emit? When people encounter us, do they sense we are more interested in sharing the good news, or in showing off how “saved” we are? Do our words and actions leave an aftertaste of love or judgment? If we parrot Christ’s message of love, but demonstrate it through anger and condemnation, our fragrance quickly turns from sweetness to stench.

We can’t control other people’s perceptions, but we can cultivate authentic and loving hearts. Be truthful, even when it means admitting you have doubts. Reserve judgment, for someone sharing a beer and bad karaoke may reach a lost soul more effectively than a pew and a hymn – and vice versa. Don’t let your testimony be the cheap overused cologne that lingers unpleasantly after you go. Let it be the undetectable fragrance others can’t help but pursue.

Comfort: Your way of being Christian, as long as it grows from an authentic relationship with Christ, will speak to the people who need to hear it.

Challenge: Be authentic. God didn’t create you to be someone else.

Prayer: Loving God, may my words and actions be a sweet aroma, drawing the world to your grace. Thank you for meeting me where I am, loving me as I am, and challenging me to be more. Amen.

Discussion: Do any of the ways you express your faith feel artificial? How could you change them, or maybe even abandon them entirely?

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Mercy in the Middle

/ JJS / 3 Comments

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 102; 27; 147:12-20, Habakuk 3:1-10 (11-15) 16-18, Philippians 3:12-21, John 17:1-8

One of singer Amy Grant’s most powerful songs is “Ask Me,” the true story of a young girl who experiences sexual abuse in her home. The arc of the song is hopeful, but not naive. Ms. Grant follows in the footsteps of psalmists and prophets struggling to understand where God could be in the middle of terrible trials. Lent is the perfect time for us to ask these questions, to mourn the state of the world. This season reminds us why we need the savior to enter God’s creation again and again.

Psalm 102 uses striking images to illustrate its author’s misery. He eats ash and drinks tears. His bones burn like a furnace. His heart withers like grass. His enemies taunt him until he is helpless as a little bird on a rooftop. Psalm 27 is the plea of someone whose enemies devour his flesh and exhale violence. The prophet Habakuk has visions of war and famine. Yet in the midst of these terrible events, all these writers cry out to the Lord. Habakuk says despite all the horrors around him, “I will rejoice in the LORD; I will exult in the God of my salvation.”

Faith does not require us to pretend we are okay with everything in our lives. When parents or children fall seriously ill, when civilians are bombed, when we lose a job, when we struggle with depression, when natural disasters destroy communities … God does not require us to meekly accept it. We can rant and rail to God about injustice and pain because – as Ms. Grant sings – “He’s in the middle of [our] pain, in the middle of [our] shame.”

Sometimes life stinks, and God knows it. Psalmists, prophets, and terrified little girls survive not by pretending God makes everything OK, but by finding the peace that comes through suffering authentically in God’s presence. Christ is God’s incarnate presence in a grieving world. He doesn’t come to meet uncomplaining cheerleaders, but to share in our suffering and redeem it through his own. Embrace the brokenness of yourself and the world, for that is where peace begins.

Comfort: God is always with you, even when your suffering makes him seem far away.

Challenge: Throughout Lent, look for opportunities to let someone share their struggles with you. Don’t try to fix it – just be present.

Prayer: Gracious and merciful God, thank you for suffering with me through my struggles. Please help me to lean on your mercies when my difficulties seem overwhelming. As I bare my soul to you, share your peace with me so others may see it also. Amen.

Discussion: This reflection is on specific readings, but chances are no matter when you read this you are aware of some unfolding tragedy. How are you responding to it?

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Pie(ty) in the Face

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 143; 147:12-20, 2 Kings 9:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

If a Christian prays in a forest and nobody hears, does she or he make a sound?

Maybe the answer to that question is, “God hears either way.”

Jesus taught his disciples not to be flashy about their faith, unlike the people who fasted and made sure to look miserable, or the alms-givers who literally trumpeted about their gifts, or the people who offered long and loud prayers on street corners. Instead he instructed them pray privately, fast discreetly, and give secretly. Ostentatious faith gathers the reward of attention, but not a heavenly reward.

It’s once we leave the seclusion of the spiritual forest that we learn whether we’ve spent our time there wisely learning to live and spread the gospel, or simply trying to persuade God to notice us. Flamboyant demonstrations of faith move the spotlight off of Christ and onto us. The evidence of a heart transformed by Christ is in how we love people, regardless of whether anyone ever acknowledges or even knows we’ve loved them. Is it possible to spread a gospel containing the idea the last are first and the first are last if we always seem to be going for gold in the piety Olympics?

When Elisha dispatched a young prophet to tell Jehu in private that God had anointed him to depose King Joram and become the new king of Israel, Jehu played it down to his fellow commanders. He dismissed it by saying, “You know how those prophet types are!” but his colleagues forced a confession out of him. Though he died about 800 years before Christ was born, Jehu understood the power of spiritual humility.

In her song These Old Bones, Dolly Parton sings about a woman with a prophet-like gift for seeing the truth. The woman says, “But unless somebody just plain out and asked me, well, I just figured there ain’t no point goin’ around actin’ like you know everything, just ’cause you might.” Humble authenticity, not an overwhelming display, is the key to winning people over. Though our witness is certainly part of our evangelistic toolkit, the moral of our story is not “Christ saved me,” but “Christ’s sacrifice was for everyone.”

Comfort: You don’t have anything to prove to anyone.

Challenge: So stop trying.

Prayer: Lord where there is despair, let me sow hope. Amen.

Discussion: Where and how do you like to pray?

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Substance Over Style

/ JJS

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 12; 146, 2 Samuel 7:18-29, Acts 18:12-28, Mark 8:22-33

Successfully interviewing potential employees requires a lot of insight. Because it can be so overwhelming, many employers and hiring managers follow rules-of-thumb to quickly weed out applicants from large piles of resumes. A typo or lack of white space may route someone right to the circular file. Employers may apply similar rules to streamline the interview process. Applicants who have a good interview but don’t supply a timely thank you note may inadvertently disqualify themselves. One could argue these mistakes speak to a lack of attention to detail or follow-through. On the other hand, employers are not usually looking for people whose primary skills include writing resumes and interviewing for new jobs. In some cases, to the chagrin of many a hiring manager, excellent resume and interview skills mask a host of other deficiencies more pertinent to the position.

Eloquence and charisma are no substitute for actual knowledge and experience. Yet people are often more swayed in their opinions by someone who sounds convincing – or convinced – than by people who lack charm but tell truth. A smoothly delivered inaccuracy (or outright lie) may very well be more widely accepted than an ill-spoken fact.

Like good interviewers, we need to be able to discern what’s beneath the surface; between style and substance.

When Priscilla and Aquila (followers of Paul, disciples of Christ) first ran into Apollos, he was enthusiastic, bold, and eloquent in declaring the Way of the Lord. He was also a little deficient in his knowledge, so “they took him aside and explained the Way of God to him more accurately” so he might join them in preaching the gospel. This was a smart hire. For evangelists, style can matter quite a bit. But Priscilla and Aquila knew he needed more substance to do the job well.

They didn’t rule him out over the verbal equivalent of a typo, and they didn’t let him fly solo until he’d proven his skill matched his swagger. Let’s follow their example and be discerning about whom we let sway us. However persuasive we may find the messenger, the message is what counts.

Additional Reading:
For more thoughts on today’s reading from Acts, see Under Construction.
For thoughts on today’s passage from Mark, see Cracked.

Comfort: Even when you don’t feel eloquent, you may have something to say.

Challenge: Flip through a few different news channels. Pay attention to who you pay attention to and why.

Prayer: May the LORD, maker of heaven and earth, bless you from Zion. (Psalm 134:3)

Discussion: Have you ever misjudged someone’s abilities or integrity because of their charisma?

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“… but I liked Jesus before he was popular.”

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 88; 148, 2 Samuel 5:1-12, Acts 17:1-15, Mark 7:24-37

There’s a feeling you get when you’re in on something special before it really takes off. Like an amazing band who still plays venues small enough for its members to linger over a beer or two with fans after the show. There’s a tension between wanting to share it with the world so it can get the attention and success it deserves,  and relishing the intimate experience of enjoying it with the secret club of people who appreciate it right now.

As a narrative, the Gospel of Mark races. Jesus goes from novelty act to cult favorite to budding superstar rather quickly. By the time he travels through Sidon and heals a man of deafness and a speech impediment, he’s finding it almost impossible to make time for himself. He still has his inner circle, but spends most of his time among the crowds who flock to him. It’s under these circumstances that he asks the man not to speak of the healing, but like everyone else this man who couldn’t speak suddenly couldn’t shut up about Jesus.

When something becomes popular, some early fans inevitably grow resentful. They mock later fans, imply the quality has declined, and start tossing around ideas like “selling out.” Some of that may be true – no one is prepared for the difference between hoping to cover the cost of traveling to a gig and selling out stadiums, and it has an effect. But by Good Friday, the chants of fans devolved into calls for an execution without so much as a farewell tour.

Sometimes the core of what we love stays the same, and it’s our perception that’s changed by all the hype and backlash. The core message of the Gospel is both personal and universal. We share it because we love it. When people use it to make a ton of money and move a lot of merch, we may become disillusioned – or we may be caught up in the frenzy – but that’s not the Gospel. Every once in a while, we need to unplug to rediscover the basics which originally moved us.

Additional Reading:
For more thoughts on today’s passage from Mark, see Whom do you Trust, The Truth About Crumbs and Dogs, and Generosity and Grace.

Comfort: When pop-culture-Christianity drags you down, you can always revisit the original material for renewal.

Challenge: Talk with some friends about what elements of modern Christian culture seem authentic to the Gospel, and which seem more about marketing it.

Prayer: Hear my prayer, O LORD; give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness; answer me in your righteousness. (Psalm 143:1)

Discussion: What’s something you liked before it was popular?

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Not so Nice

/ JJS / Leave a comment

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 67; 150, 1 Samuel 10:1-16, Romans 4:13-25, Matthew 21:23-32

When the chief priests asked Jesus by what and whose authority he acted, he declined to answer. Instead, he offered a parable about two brothers whose father told them to work in the vineyard. The first refused, but then went; the second said yes, but didn’t follow through. Which, Jesus asked, did the will of his father? Then he said:

Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him.

Tax collectors and prostitutes were not considered “nice” people. Chief priests, the wealthy, and the other usual suspects  were (are?) considered polite society.  Even today we reward people more for blind obedience to the rules than for confronting unjust conditions. We would have more sympathy for refugees “if they followed the rules” though they flee the same types of horrors as did our ancestors who had far fewer rules to contend with. We wouldn’t dismiss protesters “if they were more polite” even though the times they make us uncomfortable are the only times we choose to listen to them. We insist on courtesy from the oppressed before we will acknowledge – let alone help relieve – their suffering.

Then we have the nerve to wear WWJD* t-shirts. Did the pharisees think Jesus was a “nice” guy?

An insistence on niceness always favors the powerful – because nice people don’t challenge the status quo. Jesus didn’t seem too keen on enabling the powerful status quo. So what did Jesus do?

He spoke up for the underdog.
He fraternized with all the “wrong” people.
He named hypocrisy when and where he saw it.
He cared more about people’s stories than their status.
He spoke the truth even when it made “nice” people uncomfortable.

Nice is easy. Kindness is complicated. Nice is cheap. Justice costs us. Nice is love in theory. Discipleship is love in practice.

* What Would Jesus Do?

Comfort: When you are unjustly persecuted, God is with you.

Challenge: When someone’s method of delivering a message makes you uncomfortable, make an effort to listen for content, not emotion.

Prayer: May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that your way may be known upon earth, your saving power among all nations (Psalm 67:1-2).

Discussion: Valuing authenticity over niceness does not mean having free reign to be deliberately unkind just because we feel like it. When is the last time you were unnecessarily unkind?

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The Spin Class

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Today’s readings (click below to open in new tab/window):
Psalms 15; 147:1-11, Isaiah 63:15-64:9, 1 Timothy 3:1-16, Mark 11:27-12:12

Have you heard of the “unpology?” It’s what many celebrities and politicians do instead of actually apologizing. For instance, after getting called on the carpet for saying something insensitive, they say “I’m sorry if anyone was offended by what I said.” Subtly but distinctly different from “I’m sorry I said this offensive thing,” isn’t it?

The unpology is just one method of avoiding honest communication. Not an outright lie, but more a method of speaking yet delivering no content whatsoever. When the chief priests, scribes, and elders demanded to know by what authority Jesus said he would answer them only if they first answered a question from him: “Did the baptism of John come from heaven, or was it of human origin? Answer me.” They conferred among themselves because they weren’t sure what to say. They were afraid to say “from Heaven” because Jesus could ask why they didn’t believe him, but they were also afraid to say “of human origin” because the crowd, who regarded John as a prophet, would turn on them.

They settled on, “We do not know.”

Mark’s Gospel gives us no indication that what they truly believed even factored into their answer. So they said essentially nothing, because that’s how they had learned to maintain power.

Our society has an entire class of people who rise to prominence by declaring not what they believe, but what people want to hear. This class includes a regrettable number of politicians, lobbyists, executives, and clergy. Things like speaking bold truth and owning one’s mistakes get sacrificed on the altar of spin when we value power more than integrity.

We could point fingers at examples, but it’s more important not to get drawn into these behaviors ourselves. It’s tempting to make ourselves look as good as possible, and easy to rationalize why we should, but no true prophet worried about his or her image. No matter how well intentioned, once we start spinning the facts, it’s hard to stop. Speaking honestly and simply may not always move us up the ladder, but it keeps us grounded in our faith.

Comfort: Being honest saves a lot of effort.

Challenge: Be truthful, even when it’s not to your immediate advantage.

Prayer: God of truth and life, fill me with an abundance of both. Amen.

Discussion: Regardless of whether you actually do, when are you tempted to fudge the truth?

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